If you’re reading this and your birthday is pre-1970, you’ve already won…


You’ve been through some crazy experimental and neglectful shit in your time and the fact that you aren’t wearing a permanent pair of crazy pants means you must be evolved or something!!!

Here are some “normal” things from your childhood that are actually insane…

17. Hair care was very, very different.

pic_002Yayy!!! My hair’s not on fire…Yooohoooo!!!!

16. Car seat technology looks like a big joke.

pic_003Because a metal headband will definitely keep me from being catapulted out of this poorly-protected death trap.

15. Everyone had very interesting ideas about orange juice.

pic_004Because whoever is responsible for making Ranch dressing must have their health priorities in the right places.

14. Smoking on planes was a fun thing to do in those days.

pic_005Because sitting in an encapsulated smoke tube for hours isn’s dangerous AT ALL.

13. Ice cream was the true breakfast of champions.

pic_006Well…why not?

12. This seemed like a reasonable thing to touch your face with.

pic_007I’m not sure how this e-cigarette with a harmonic attachment qualified as a razor.